Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!

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  (509): ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car! http://tfl.nu/lfwp
  Replies (13) Good night (786) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...

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  (810): I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work... http://tfl.nu/lwph
  Replies (29) Good night (4409) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.

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  (443): He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep. http://tfl.nu/lshi
  Replies (27) Good night (1546) Bad night (4948)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.

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  (248): If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme. http://tfl.nu/8vj2
  Replies (12) Good night (7928) Bad night (1436)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.

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  (949): The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women. http://tfl.nu/zhxo
  Replies (22) Good night (6511) Bad night (3169)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings

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  (414): saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings http://tfl.nu/clzp
  Replies (13) Good night (3033) Bad night (4896)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.

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  (203): She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday. (917): Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA. http://tfl.nu/ow5e
  Replies (11) Good night (9264) Bad night (1204)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  The pine trees are waving at me.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Put the pipe down honey.

  (253): View more from Washington

  Hi trees.

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  (253): The pine trees are waving at me. (907): Put the pipe down honey. (253): Hi trees. http://tfl.nu/6b23
  Replies (17) Good night (8301) Bad night (1838)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.

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  (612): These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit. http://tfl.nu/pqn2
  Replies (9) Good night (1401) Bad night (3976)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.

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  (203): she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever. http://tfl.nu/jt2o
  Replies (8) Good night (6733) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me

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  (660): Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me http://tfl.nu/ir9q
  Replies (4) Good night (1038) Bad night (2083)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.

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  (+44): On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling. http://tfl.nu/fq4v
  Replies (0) Good night (910) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.

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  (765): So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor. http://tfl.nu/2e0y
  Replies (6) Good night (1516) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT IS HAPPENING

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.

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  (724): WHAT IS HAPPENING (1-724): A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US. http://tfl.nu/lbg7
  Replies (6) Good night (751) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now

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  (785): The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now http://tfl.nu/v0ez
  Replies (1) Good night (345) Bad night (180)

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