My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
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I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night