my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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