Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  they need to just BURY HIM!

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  (515): they need to just BURY HIM! http://tfl.nu/yy9j
  Replies (148) Good night (3847) Bad night (983)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY

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  (416): that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY http://tfl.nu/vrxb
  Replies (18) Good night (936) Bad night (4337)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame

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  (413): Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame http://tfl.nu/uj51
  Replies (29) Good night (7959) Bad night (1281)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding

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  (770): The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding http://tfl.nu/pa6f
  Replies (21) Good night (7107) Bad night (1064)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.

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  (801): when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead. http://tfl.nu/0qeu
  Replies (11) Good night (4310) Bad night (1232)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face

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  (413): I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face http://tfl.nu/hkq0
  Replies (5) Good night (2338) Bad night (643)
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  (510): View more from California

  she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong

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  (510): she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong http://tfl.nu/3blf
  Replies (10) Good night (4385) Bad night (923)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.

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  (573): No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday. http://tfl.nu/3i0h
  Replies (3) Good night (1495) Bad night (654)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Same.

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  (203): His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews (1-203): Same. http://tfl.nu/citv
  Replies (10) Good night (2215) Bad night (847)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you

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  (212): He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket (617): I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you http://tfl.nu/qdni
  Replies (3) Good night (1758) Bad night (653)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.

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  (604): So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk. http://tfl.nu/87wr
  Replies (14) Good night (3024) Bad night (797)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang

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  (610): Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang http://tfl.nu/jrxr
  Replies (2) Good night (1071) Bad night (522)
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  (559): View more from California

  I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon

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  (559): I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon http://tfl.nu/fvut
  Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (588)
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  (518): View more from New York

  So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"

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  (518): So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?" http://tfl.nu/8ua3
  Replies (2) Good night (339) Bad night (544)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes

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  (580): Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes http://tfl.nu/f88p
  Replies (0) Good night (602) Bad night (231)

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