Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow

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  (248): I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow http://tfl.nu/a3vb
  Replies (2) Good night (1173) Bad night (438)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Screwed.edu

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  (361): Screwed.edu http://tfl.nu/m1ch
  Replies (7) Good night (779) Bad night (1208)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.

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  (401): okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly. http://tfl.nu/8lsw
  Replies (20) Good night (4422) Bad night (1181)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

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  (251): if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me? http://tfl.nu/7eei
  Replies (26) Good night (6930) Bad night (757)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.

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  (952): Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages. http://tfl.nu/1djk
  Replies (27) Good night (1272) Bad night (7237)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.

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  (210): Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened. http://tfl.nu/7jhi
  Replies (14) Good night (3292) Bad night (1687)
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  (925): View more from California

  Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard

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  (925): Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard http://tfl.nu/2caa
  Replies (14) Good night (3965) Bad night (895)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.

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  (317): You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour. http://tfl.nu/7a2s
  Replies (4) Good night (3031) Bad night (643)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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  (701): He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success. http://tfl.nu/xbmk
  Replies (12) Good night (4555) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.

  (315): View more from New York

  They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.

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  (315): So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers. (315): They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair. http://tfl.nu/om27
  Replies (10) Good night (1606) Bad night (566)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.

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  (832): I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship. http://tfl.nu/02yh
  Replies (3) Good night (1382) Bad night (519)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on

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  (512): Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on http://tfl.nu/5wd1
  Replies (10) Good night (1019) Bad night (487)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?

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  (804): Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend? http://tfl.nu/fa11
  Replies (2) Good night (1226) Bad night (369)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  What kind of costume was that supposed to be??

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm an orgasm trader!

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  (202): What kind of costume was that supposed to be?? (1-202): I'm an orgasm trader! http://tfl.nu/kj4e
  Replies (4) Good night (931) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.

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  (732): We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best. http://tfl.nu/2ism
  Replies (3) Good night (313) Bad night (452)

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