It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
