I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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