Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
