I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
