so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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