sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
