my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
