it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
