oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
