I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
