What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
