I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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