All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
