my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
