well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
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The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
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made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
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