So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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