We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
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I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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