How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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