So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
