so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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