Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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