Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
