Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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