I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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