I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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