just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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