Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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