walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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