it wasn't lemon gatorade
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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