Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
