you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
