After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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