He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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