Three words: puerto rican gang bang
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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