im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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