Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So vagazzling was a success
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I forget how to act sober
Randomize