Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
