Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
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Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize