Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
