Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
