Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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