Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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