I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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