found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
