dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize