so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
