they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
