I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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