Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
