I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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