I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
