We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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