I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
