He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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