I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
