Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
