Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
