ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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