All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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