You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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