drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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