Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
