yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
