I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
