While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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