I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Randomize
